Feeling Guilty

Is it weird that I feel incredibly guilty about not having found a full-time library job yet? Well, not even so much about not finding one, because I have limited control over that situation, especially given the current state of the economy... What I feel guilty about is that I'm not as upset about it as I think I should be. After all, I spent 2 1/2 years and nearly $20,000 getting my MLIS.

I suspect part of the reason I'm not so upset is that (a) I at least am working part time as a librarian, so at least I'm getting some sort of return on my investment, financially, professionally and psychologically and (b) I'm lucky to have any job in any field, let alone two jobs, both of which are actually related to my education.

Part of me is even afraid to switch full-time jobs even if something came up, particularly if it's something in a public library. The unfortunate thing about times like this is that, even though library use pretty much skyrockets, the budgets go down the tubes and I'd fear for my job security. I'd be much more inclined to accept a job in a school library, but I'd still be afraid of not being asked to return the next year. My job as a government auditor is pretty darn secure, and while it may not be my dream job I enjoy it most of the time. It just doesn't give me the same sense of purpose as working in a library. When I come home from the courthouse, I feel drained... when I come home from the library, I feel invigorated.

I don't want to be so risk-averse that I turn down a great job opportunity should it be offered... but at the same time, I am terrified of putting myself in a position where I don't have any (or very little) income. Especially if my husband and I do end up with a house.

Yes, that's right. Still no word on the house. The seller's bank wanted to do a second appraisal, because our offer was so far below the original purchase price. Very frustrating, because we do feel we're getting a very good deal and don't want to just walk away, but how long are they going to string us along? All we can do is keep our eyes open for a comparable home at a comparable price, and should we find it... well, too bad for the bank, we're going to withdraw our offer and good luck to them finding another buyer.

But in happier news, the past couple of weekends have been fun! Last Friday I went to New York for a friend's birthday, and we had a delicious dinner at L'Express. Went to New York yet AGAIN on Sunday to visit another friend. Got brunch at Tapeo 29... their brunch comes with your choice of Bloody Mary, mimosa, or screwdriver, with free refills. Seriously, who gives free refills on alcohol? Amazing. Last night my husband and I went back to the city AGAIN with one of his friends to see a midnight showing of the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie at Sunshine Cinema. Good times, but finding parking was horrible, ugh.

Well, I'm off. The boy is working tonight, so I have the apartment to myself. Time to finish straightening things up, make some dinner, and love the fact that I have tomorrow off!

Still Alive

Happy New Year!

I know, I'm terrible at this. It's funny, because I've been too busy to write anything but I haven't felt like I have anything terribly interesting about which to write!

Still no definite news on the house. SUPPOSEDLY we should hear something nexted week. But then again, we were originally supposed to hear something on December 15, so I don't know if I believe that. We're planning to look a few back-up houses on Sunday. We'd really like to know what's going on by the end of the month.

It's been a busy couple of weeks, socially speaking. On December 20, I got together with college friends for what was supposed to be our book club. But none of us finished the book in time. Oops? On Christmas Eve the husband and I invited our parents over for drinks and snacks, and the following day we made the rounds and had 2 Christmas dinners. The day after Christmas we braved the mall. Saturday the 27th was my annual Christmas dinner with my girlfriends from high school, and the next afternoon we had a get-together that included babies and husbands. I spent last night up at a cabin in the Poconos with my husband, one of my college roommates and a whole mess of other people, and now I'm going to be heading over to another friend's house. I feel like such a social butterfly! Pictures will hopefully be up on Picasa and/or Facebook tonight or tomorrow.

Also, in library-related news, we had an interesting incident when I was working at the library this past weekend. I was in the children's room and the incident happened in adult reference, but from what I understadn it involved a patron making a big scene over a teenager looking at "pornography" on the libraries computers (I put "pornography" in quotes because from what I heard it was a webpage that had a picture of a girl in a bikini, but was not in any way sexually explicit), loudly and rudely criticizing the parenting skills of the teenager's mother, informing the staff at the circulation desk that she was going to report us to the newspaper and storming out.

Gotta love when stuff like that happens. It keeps things interesting.

Right?

Okay, it's actually just really annoying.

I'm off. Hopefully there will be news on the house next week, but I wouldn't hold my breath.